Sunday October 21st 2018

You're leaving and will be automatically redirected to

Go back to

Diary of a Heroin Addict


I am a heroin addict. My life is limited to three concerns. The first thing I gotta figure out every morning is how to get a bag of heroin into my arm no more than ten minutes after I wake-up. If I fail, I’m dope sick. The cramps inside my lower stomach go on a full-scale attack. I can’t stand. I can’t walk. The diarrhea squirts out like a water hose.     The second issue is drawing a “hot shot.” The drug dealers cut the heroin or add fake shit to stretch quantity for profit. Some dealers cut it in half and double their money. But most drug dealers aren’t rocket scientist; they never get the proper distribution of cut to heroin every time. Too much pure heroin in a half-gram package equals a “hot shot.” Five minutes after you shot the package into your vein, your heart stops.

But my major concern is called “cotton shot rush.” It’s when a dirty piece of cotton fiber used to filter the heroin makes it into your bloodstream. Most addicts don’t carry sterile cotton balls or Q-tips in their back pocket. If you’re lucky you have access to a clean filtered cigarette. But most of the time you have to find a cigarette butt on the ground, in an ashtray, or a garbage barrel.

But there is no mistaking it when it hits. Ten to twenty minutes after you pull the trigger it whacks you like you’re in the third day of the flu virus. The ears give it away: if they start to ring you’re fucked. Pressure begins to mount on each side of your temple like a vise squeezing slowly together. Sweat pours off your brow but at first there is no temperature associated with it. The shakes progress quickly to trembles. Chills hit immediately after and the body’s temperature spikes to over 102.  If the bacteria takes up residency in your heart and you don’t seek medical attention, you’re dead. I roll the dice about a dozen times a day.

It’s been twenty-three years since I shot a bag of heroin into my arm. But I’m still a junkie, every morning I wake up and vividly recall the hell I once lived. I’m blessed.

Leave a Reply

34 Responses to “Diary of a Heroin Addict
1:17 am October 22nd, 2010

I don’t know a heroin addict who can’t carry a clean cotton with them. I also don’t know heroin addict who actively worries about cotton fever. Its very rare.

2:17 pm October 22nd, 2010

Dman, are you speaking from experience?

Andrea Clarkson
10:45 pm October 26th, 2010

Very compelling piece. My practice specializes in outpatient detoxification from prescription medication, alcohol or street drugs including: Heroin, Oxycontin, Methadone, and hydrocone or oxycodone products. If you or someone you know is suffering please do not hesitate to contact us.

We are here to support you!

Bobbie Thrush
9:00 am October 27th, 2010

I just searched for this site and located it. It has been a great source of ideas for understanding and treating addiction issues. Kudos!

Britta Petersik
6:06 am October 29th, 2010

This is my first time posting on something like this,but hey it’s also my first time i can honestly say i really think i need,and want to quit smoking. For myself,and for the poeple around me.Which is what bought me to this page.

London Chic
4:53 am October 31st, 2010

I’ve never heard of cotton flue at all. I’m in da UK.

Concerned Friend
12:52 pm November 27th, 2010

I am dealing with a family member who is hooked on heroin. I found a pill bottle full of used cottons in his bag. I guess they save them and smash them and shoot it. I flushed them down the toilet and he got pretty mad at me for doing this. Oh well maybe he wont get cotton fever.

11:38 pm December 25th, 2010

i was shooting up 1-2 grams of heroin a day for about 2 and a half years straight, not counting when i kicked cold turkey to get married in vegas about halfway into it. needless to say once we got back from vegas, i called my dope guy right away. i never had any problems with abcesses/cotton fever until the very end of it. i had both my feet swell up to look like i had severely sprained ankles from trying endlessly to find good veins in my feet once my arms/hands were tapped out (so i thought, the longer you use heroin, the better you get at finding even the smallest spider veins) but never any open sores. about a month before i kicked for good, i had my first bout of cotton fever at work. yes i did shoot up at work. uncontrollable shaking/shivering, splitting headache, feeling hot/freezing, it almost felt like being dope sick. it didn’t last very long, maybe a couple hours. i was kind of scared at first but i think i knew what it was from friends’ accounts of cotton fever.

5:18 pm August 10th, 2012

I was addicted to perscription pain pills for 5 years then I spent the next 5 years going back and forth between heroin and methadone. I thought that methadone was safe and a good way to kick heroin, boy was I wrong! First of all, I tried to kick the methadone and it was the worst kick ever, thats when I first relapsed back to heroin. I was thinking “this methadone crudd is worse than heroin so I might as well just get some”! I went back and forth between the the two for what seemed like forever, mostly I just used what ever was available. I knew I had to get off of both of them when I watched someone OD on methadone (he was perscribed 100 mgs and took 150mgs and died!) I found a place that had a medical detox to wean me down and then they did a drug free withdrawal after that, which was made very tolerable with nutritional therapy and constant 1 on 1 methods that were geared towards making the body feel better. It only took 4 days for me to start feeling better ,eating and sleeping pretty well. After 3 more days I was able to complete the withdrawal part of the program. The rest of the program took 3 months and it was great too, but I was most relieved by the fact that I was no longer on heroin and no longer on maintenance.

3:19 am January 7th, 2013

Sickness doesnt hit until about 12 hours after your last use. I agree I never feared a cotton shot, and more or less wanted a hot shot. I wanted the dope people were ODing on. As sick as that sounds. I do about 3-5 bundles of East Coast dope a day. Its a gnarly habit and I want to quit so bad. I got sleeping pills some subs, and some benzos. Any advice for this home kick?

1:50 pm January 10th, 2013

Hi Brando. Cold turkey heroin withdrawal is not for the faint of heart. My one suggestion would be to detox under monitoring at a clinic. They can administer the cocktail of medications that you need, and may even have some new meds you haven’t considered. This way, you can concentrate on getting through it instead of treating yourself while you do. Call 1-800-662-HELP to find a detox clinic in your city.

Heart Sick Doctor Mom
7:01 am January 29th, 2013

My daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She started her journey smoking pot which led to experimentation with LSD and cocaine. Along the way, she believed she was first addicted to cocaine, but was able to trade one addiction for another when she bought her first dime bag of heroin. She has failed out of a major university program, a junior college program, has stolen from her parents, her sister, her grandparents, her uncle, and my business to the tune of about $30K that all went up her nose. Formerly a straight “A” student and college athlete, she is now struggling to rediscover who she is and where she belongs. I saw the signs-the failing grades, the indifference to her appearance and lack of compunction for her failings and the way she looked, and yet, I believed her when she told me she couldn’t cope with the rigors of college. This, coupled with the break up of a stormy relationship with “the love of her life,” duped me; how unbelievably stupid-I am supposed to be an intelligent, educated woman. Perhaps, deep down, I didn’t want to believe. The deep blemishes and scarring of her once beautiful face, the nodding off in mid-sentence, the missing money and checks, the sleeping 16 hours a day, the abrupt changes in mood and temperment, the way she turned away from me-her once only trusted confidant, the way she isolated herself in her room, and those constricted pupils were enough. After a year of lies, I confronted my child. “You’re on drugs, aren’t you. You need help don’t you?,” I asked. The answer rocked me to my core. “Yes, Mommy,” she said. I am addicted to heroin and I need help. My beautiful, intelligent daughter, so full of promise and a bright future was snorting 25-30 bags of heroin a day. I found her hiding place for her used bags. There had to be hundreds, if not thousands of them-little plastic bags with blue paper and white residue. A $250-$300 habit. How is this possible? How did this happen? The light of my life and song of my day, the baby I raised and loved with my entire heart became a stranger to me. Who is this person? How could she do this? Why did she turn her back on everything she was taught to believe as truth and decide to run with the devil? WHY??? It didn’t matter. I hated the addiction, but loved my child. I called every detox program I could. No one had the openings, and my insurance would not cover the resources she needed. I presented her to a hospital ER when the acute phase of detox began. It was ugly, twisted…she screamed and moaned, her body convulsed, she vomited continuously. After being sent home with drugs to “reduce her symptoms,” she was finally admitted to the hospital the next day with dehydration and tachacardia from electrolyte imbalance. She continued to vomit for 5 days and was finally admitted to the hospital’s psyche ward for major depression and acute withdrawal of opiod substance. After day seven, she was sent home. Our insurance would not pay for an inpatient drug abuse treatment program so she would continue treatment as an outpatient at an area clinic. Her skin crawls, she has been treated several times at area hospitals for nausea and vomting, she’s had night terrors, sweats, chills, and hallucinations. She is agitated, restless, has experienced severe lower back pain, abdominal cramping, and flood-like diarrhea. Her entire body hurts and she said she wants to kill herself. Worst of all, after all she’s been through and 30 pounds later, she said her evil side calls to her to, “use again.” My daughter has been clean for 18 days now and has a long way to go. She went “cold turkey” without the use of Suboxone or Methadone, which I stoically believe substitutes one addiction for another, at least as far as my child is concerned. In my practice, I have seen opiate addicts stay on Suboxone for over a year, Methadone for longer. What is accomplished? Every person, addiction is different. My daughter opted for a total cleanse. She is currently on Clonidine 0.2mg twice a day, Hydroxyzine 25mg every six hours, Metoclopromide 10mg twice a day, Vitamine B complex sublingual twice a day, and Valerian Root with Passion Flowers daily to over come her symptoms. She has required several trips to ER and bags of Normal Saline to replenish liquids lost from the contant bouts of vomiting and diarrhea. I am guilty of administering several Prochlorperazine 25mg supposities (from prior illnesses) at bedtime to control the vomiting and Naproxen 500mg to undermine the constant body aches. My daughter has finally gone from darkness into light. Today, she feels better and has eaten solid food. She has kept liquids and solids down for 48 hours. The light is returning to her eyes and for the first time in months, she smiled. The light has overcome the darkness, morning has broken. To all those who suffer from this horrid noose, and all those who love you, my heart goes out. Stay strong and do whatever you can to keep your promises. Get help, reach out, do not be afraid. We all make mistakes, we all fall down. Together, we can overcome,

9:58 pm January 31st, 2013

To heart sick mom: Classical music heals the brain: the sequencing in it. play her all of them over and over. start with moonlight sonata READ beautiful boy or its my beautiful boy by nick sheffs father nick s. was a meth addict who sold him self to gays for meth for yrs.
read how its a disease and stop judging your daughter all that society stuff you think is embarassing to your ego drop it or she wont trust you
you talk like youre ashamed of her and you should be asking who abused her or date raped her or touched her in childhood
you have no clue bad things happen in good families too.
she took pot early for some reason. did her father slap her at all or ever lay a hand on her any man in the family ever hurt her bc this alone will drive a child or teen straight to drugs screw everything else bc they get tramautized or maybe a death of a friend or relative she could not deal with but usually this stems from early childhood trauma
im just saying out of everything ive read this is what it comes down to. you cannot pressure he with whatver it was before it will drive her to use more and relapse
she will also need vitamins and should do a vegan diet spinach broccoli daily Red Delicious apples clean the blood its a specific compound
its hard bc they taste the drug they crave it etc its not anything you or i could relate to. but this is what ive read fm yrs of research on addiction im not a licensed specialist but its fm my own personal exp with bf’s friends etc

vegan brown rice no sugar diet no sauces all vege fruits to get cravings out. shell crave the drug in her mouth workout routine Yoga pilates the hardest positions they massage the body from the inside. every day==running till she drops or rollor blading or modern dance or all of them noting fast food except salad or md’s coffee its green mountain organic but no burgers nothing fried its all bio-chemically engineered to make you addicted. read eric schlosser’s Fast Food Nation and Omnivours dilemma and in the Jungle written before 1929 i think about the factory meats
1. Red Delicious Apples 2-4/day they clean the blood
2. Dr. OZ books on health all of them
3. A million little pieces by J. Frey
4. Spinach
5. blueberries
6. lemon
7 limes
8 garlic
9 all nick sheff’s books
10 cinnimon in coffee hot chocolate
11 dark chocolate 65% unsweetened 3 oz a day
12 grapefruit
13 green tea
14 honey
15 pineapple
16 kiwi fruit
17 almonds
18 beans every kind
the owner of carlton ritz hotel chain got brain cancer after he had it surgically removed a japanese natural healer told him to do a diet only with brown rice, veges fruits whole no salt no oils nothing processed. just as natural as he could for 1 yr to get back to health

Call the loveline show, tell dr drew hes a specialized addcition medicine dr 20yrs experience.

First, I just read the part where you didnt get her drugs to get her off of heroin. OMG youre not a dr and youre lucky she hasnt died from withdrawals yet.
that part is awful. i dont know who told you to not give those nec. drugs just for that drug withdrawal but you need to talk to a reputable psychiatrist
you dont understand the danger of what youre dealing with.

Read Danielle Steal: Brilliant Light on her sons herion addiction he overdosed at 20 somthing early 20′s.

also dont feel offended if she doesnt include you in what she talks about or shares with a therapist. this is vital to her mental health to get out whatever she needs to just get out with someone she can trust whos not emotionally attatched may help at the beginning of talking about what actually led to her touching pot in the first place and then what made her want more and more i dont know but i do know genius minds abused or not feel like they need to experiment w/drugs even if it leads to suicide it could just be that
and thats only uncovered through therapy.
or she could relapse over and over
do not pressure her with back to school or finishing or anything
right now her mental health is at stake to the drug and relapse

Also, she will need psychotherapy with someone she trusts and respects that she can be open with about everything someone nonjudgmental who understands addictions
they will need to monitor how shes doing weekly

11:45 pm February 22nd, 2013

to hsdrmom, dont feel stupid drug addiction is in all types of families

2:19 am October 13th, 2013

My 33 yr. old son recently OD’d on heroin. I don’t understand the feeling that you get from it! What in your life is missing that you need to fill it with heroin?? He is still in the hospital unable to talk, on dialysis, has a trach and lost his leg. Is all this worth it?

Ms. Morpheus
11:53 am December 30th, 2013

Wow, that’s intense. I was under the impression that a “hot shot” contained trace metals or something…I read that somewhere. Supposedly that’s what killed Janis Joplin.

Aside from injecting (eww!) the thing that would scare me most about heroin is the impurity aspect. Nowadays it’s cut with super-potent fentanyl analogs like acetyl-fentanyl, which are much easier to OD on than heroin.

America needs a treatment program like the one in Switzerland. The heroin is a pharmaceutical grade, clear liquid rather than filthy black tar. Addicts can get their fix and spend their days working or doing something other than wandering the streets. Methadone is a decent option but has serious problems of its own, like being more difficult to quit than heroin for most junkies. Of course, kratom and poppy pods are other semi-legal options for quitting.

Glad you’re clean now.

8:24 pm September 21st, 2015

Many people are using a combination of Suboxone, counseling, and support to get clean. It takes a lot to maintain sobriety. Addiction can occur with almost any substance, and having multiple addictions makes life even more complex.

Brit- Recovering Addict
2:45 pm November 1st, 2015

Hello! I love this blog. It is SOOO true. I actually used heroin for almost three years and also ended up being so bad that I was deteriorating and ended up getting Congestive Heart Failure from using the same needle more than once. It caused a vegetation on my tricuspid valve. Nobody ever hears about how using the needle and using period can cause heart problems, or atleast I never have, I just heard of where you could get hep c. But now i’m living with heart failure for the rest of my life and I had open heart surgery a year ago, I was a sick puppy. They prescribed me percocet for almost 2 years, and instead of weaning me off they TOOK me off of them. The withdraws weren’t as bad as dope, but I still felt like shit, sweats, diarrhea, and all that good shit. Needless to say I relapsed and snorted a little bit of dope because I was wanting to die, and ended up living through it and now here i am, on methadone. I fucking hate addiction. I really do.

5:31 pm November 3rd, 2015

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Brit! And, thank you for inspiring other readers to stay strong.

8:35 pm November 13th, 2015

My cousin started using about a yr ago and Oct 6 2015 she overdosed she was rushed to the hospital where she ended up being OK and then on Oct 8th she was found dead she overdosed again she was only 25 yrs old she left behind her two kids 2and 6 it was a very heart breaking day we miss her everyday its very hard so I hope if there is someone on here using please please stop using u mean something to someone and they love u very much its never to late to get help…

7:48 pm November 17th, 2015

Hello Garlanda. I’m really sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing this. I hope this story will set another example for the dangerous of heroin addiction.

2:55 am December 24th, 2015

My mom passed away from heroin, I could understand her pain because she got back from rehab and needed it badly. I miss her, I just still don’t understand why she would get into it and leave me, But now I need something to take the pain away from this. I’m 13, and I am thinking of doing Heroin…

3:32 pm February 1st, 2016

I’m 31 y.o. who recently lost my spouse of 10yrs. I never really knew what cotton fever was, but would recreationally use with my M.D. husband, and it has happened to me before but i thought maybe it was bad dope or i was really coming down with something. But now I’m thinking cotton fever may have contrubuted to my husbands death…one sec he was fine the next he was unresponsive and brain dead. I refused an autopsy bc i couldnt allow his family, our children, or his employees know. But his partners stated he had a staph infection in his heart and caused him 3 strokes of staph infected tissue n blood to cause him to be brain dead. Is this the kind of infection that could come from cotton fever?

2:45 am March 30th, 2016

a handkercheif and a harpoon

newspaper sailboats float down the sidewalks

garbage men sleep on the streets

rain rattles hard on the cardboard apartments

at heroin’s home of defeat

teenage transvestites stand in the shadows

crying for something to eat

still find the time to put on their makeup

at heroin’s home of defeat

motherless prostitutes scream in the alley

selling their services cheap

manage to make another months rent

at heroin’s home of defeat

chemical businessmen offering candy

to children with holes in their feet

happily increase the unpopulation

at heroin’s home of defeat

off key musicians perform on the corners

play the same concert each week

but no one remembers five minutes ago

at heroin’s home of defeat

8:08 am July 5th, 2016

Shamana, I don’t know how fast u type but u really went the extra mile. I thank you because ur info. was useful, too. I quit medical marijuana & cigs for 4 years then relapsed on both and started using for 1 full year (the present time). I know it sounds kinda like wth? addicted to pot??? but it’s true u can be adversely addicted to pot, if it takes up a chunk of ur budget monies. if i am spending my money on weed instead of a t-shirt or instead of a haircut to the point where i cut my own hair, dude then it’s an addiction. I never understood the point of “hey my name is __ and Im an alcoholic,” but in the last month, I have, it’s not defeatist or negative. it’s understanding each day, that u belong to the 10 percent of the population that can’t use drugs or alcohol socially. ur brain is wire impulsively, you’re way too nervous, maybe bi polar or have anxiety. it’s too remind a person, that hey, i can never have just one puff off a spliff or a tobacco cigarette since 1 puff will lead back to full time use. M.A. marijuana anonymous simply doesn’t have enough info. or even on-line support, but an addiction is an addiction–same symptoms, same grief, just a different level of hurt and degree and possibility of death. thanx

9:45 pm July 7th, 2016

As I sit here shaking , I have three cooked up syringes in my drawer. My boyfriend is on me about using, he doesn’t understand how someone 25 years clean could fall back into this. I don’t understand either , except the depression of dealing with things makes me feel so empty. Plus other physical problems. i kicked it two weeks ago , then went back to a friends house to get my free gram she owed me. HUGE mistake. These physical problems I am having of shaking and my hands twitching are so scary . I ache all over. How much is from the heroin I don’t know. When I use when my boyfriend’s at work, I use and I begin to get happy. I sing . I have energy, I want to clean . I dance around the house with the ghosts of those I have loved and lost . sounds crazy i know . Then it wears off and I’m back to the doom and gloom of having no children and no family . And that’s my dilemma. I used to watch shows on addicts and say oh how weak they are , now here I am . I never ever thought it would be me , but once again I am going to kick it . Wish me luck .

1:55 am March 25th, 2017

Im an adctive addict. I dont shoot up but i do snort. I guess its the safest way to do heroin.. But the thrill of snorting that huge bump is the warmest feeling ive ever experienced.. Better than an orgasm.. But the sickness is the same. I just got out of rehab in january. And by march i was right back at it. Something leads me back. When i stopped i felt miserable and not in a sick way. But in an emotional way. They say your lifes suppose to get better after you stop but for me it was the exact opposite… I want to stop but yet again i dont. Ive never felt so alive in my life. To whoever reads this im not a bad person. Im caring and loving and i have a great personality. Idk why but im an active functioning addict. I dont know why but its the happiest ive ever been… Why cant i be happy sober….

10:11 pm August 1st, 2017

Your story is inspiring. 23 years of sobriety is a blessing. I’m so happy for you and I hope the people around you are. I wanted to share with you a blog that my colleagues have produced. It’s full of great information and I think you might like some of the writing.

10:56 pm September 16th, 2017

I’m attempting to taper off dope. I’m finding excuses to use although I know I’ll be sick no matter what. Today I’m down to my very last bag. This is the part I never overcome. I tattoo at a busy shop and a few clients will throw a brick my way on front at any point, day or night. My fiance is 18 weeks pregnant and although I’m excited to be a father I continue to use. Like I said I’m down to my last bag and tempted to call up a client to get “my last bun” and I’ve done this several times. I’ve been to rehabs and have a counselor at a local drug treatment facility. I like her but everything is so artificial. I know the rehab is pushing methadone and suboxone like the dealers I get smack from. I’m in search of advice. N.A., rehab, and suboxone really didnt do much to help…

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
12:38 pm September 22nd, 2017

Hi Joey. Call a toll-free Heroin Helpline on 1-888-988-7934 to get in touch with trusted and confidential helpline professionals available 24/7. You will speak to a sympathetic, well-trained individual who can help you find a reliable recovery program that will meet your treatment needs.

1:39 pm October 9th, 2017

I do not get addiction and why if heroin is hell do you start it-you read all this about it and they all say it is hell so why start?? I am a reverse reactor and a super metabolizer-I get treated like I am lying when I tell the doctors this yet they don’t do the test to find out-I come from a highly addictive family and was molested as a child-I guess I never found the right thing or something but I cant see all this once I got older and hurt my back as a nurse, they started giving me all these pills that others were OMG you have that I was like yeah and its useless, it doesn’t help me, I don’t get hyper or high or anything-I threw fentanyl in the garbage without a single regret-all I did was vomit while trying to use it. Hydrocodone is bs and so is OxyContin-only things that helps me at all is a muscle relaxer of ambien. I don’t drive anymore due to neuropathy unless it is a dire emergency-but I cant get comfortable at night-all any pain pill does is barely numb my pain so if heroin is like fentynal why would it be something you wanted to do. There are people like me out here and we are curious-drugs don’t even show up in my urine half the time-maybe something in us is the key to helping you all quit. I prefer epidurals and trigger points to drugs except I need to sleep sometime. I did not mention above that I have a highly addictive daughter-she is ruining both our lives and her daughters-I cant understand and tell her when she gets older she will need medication and it might not help her then if she lives to get old-she lies, steals, manipulates, is overly social and will torment people for sport and I don’t only mean she torments me either/whoever is in her path at the time. She surmises that I turn her in to the law when I am 30 miles away and do not hear about her being in jail till long after the fact. I am trying to understand this but I don’t think I will live to raise her child-dope doesnt help depression-on a Prozac I grind my teeth like it is an upper same with Zoloft and Celexa-yet no one believes me-I will wake up at night with a 140 to 150 pulse from being asleep-I an feel a pulse in my fingestips and I feel no kind of help with depression-I have never been social or needy of others approval-HELP I DONT UNDERSTAND THE DRUGS NOR MY DAUGHTERS NEED FOR FAKE FRIENDS AND FALSE APPROVAL OF DOPE

Will it ever end...
1:06 pm October 24th, 2017

My daughter is 35 years old and has been an addict for 15 years. I remember when I first found out. She was in jail and I was sooo mad that I did not go to see her for a month. When I did go see her, she told me she had been sexually abused by a guard there. I did not know what to say to her except try to get out on some program asap and try not to be around him alone. Needless to say, I felt horrible… I knew she was prey. I knew she was a pretty young junkiel that nobody came to visit. She was prey! I knew I’d visit as much as I could to keep the monster away… Looking back, that was a huge regret…. She did pull through in court and he was sentenced to 3 years in prison. Turns out she wasn’t the only one he’d abused. However, she was the only heroin addict that was still young and beautiful and most importantly truthful about what he did to her. The prosecutor hugged her after the indictment hugged me after his sentencing… He was a Monster!

3 Prison sentences for drug possession and probably 5 rehabs, 2 beautiful children (that I have custody of) and 10 years later… She walked out of the hospital again yesterday. She has been there for a month for a blood infection, she has a rash all over and constant pain in her back. Her spine is infected with puss. She told me she shot cocain in her hand 3 months earlier and was sick since. She is homeless. Last night she got an MRI to look for blood clots in her legs that are severely swollen….Yet, today, she walked out to vanish on the train to Newark NJ or some other armpit of the tri-state area… Wonder if I will ever see her again…. She is suffering…. She did not deserve all of this pain… Heroin is the work of Satan.. He enjoys his work…

7:21 pm February 27th, 2018

ive had back to back cotton fever…wworst thing I ever felt besides when I woke up after open heart surgery

10:16 pm July 17th, 2018

I am an addict as well, & to all the heion addicts,Please stop wher ya’ll are. It’s getting so bad out their & these dealers only want ur money or ladies, ur pussy! They will take ur last breath, All u have in this whole world is you & thayt is borrowed from the good lord which if u don’t respect that,guess what? he’s comming back for it & hey!!!! TOO fukn late dude!! I lost the love of my life last year on April 17,2017 It still consumes me! now mine & his 27 yr. old daughter is doing the same thiing!! I just want to die the pain is so intense! Please you guys, think with that thing between your ears & stop before u don’t have another chance to say, I promise ya’ll, I won’t ever do that again!!! U won’t get another shot & u never know when that time will b!! Now I love my daughter & I’m not studding on stressing on this fukn shit I can’t do this again!! I have grandchildren & some of u guy’s do too!!! Stoppppppppp be 4 they pick the shit up 2 because BABY!!!!! THEY WILL!! If u have any feeling left in ur heart & haven’t gotten to that REAL FUKED up point of selfishness STOP!!! ur hurting everyone around u, It’s not about u anymore, it’s about us that will b left behind to feel the absence & pain of not ever bein g able to sit & just chill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quit it for God sake before u don’t get that chance again!!! I’m soooo lost & ANGRY I could just take her life myself!!! Don’t be stupid, Stop!! GOD HAVE MERCY ON ALL!!!!! IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS I ASK!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Good luck to u that make the right choice to live.

Leave a Reply

About Richard Farrell

Richie Farrell won the du-Pont-Columbia for directing the HBO documentary film, High on Crack Street: Lost Lives in Lowell. That film inspired the 2010 major motion picture The Fighter that went on to win academy awards for Christian Bale and Melissa Leo. Farrell's memoir What’s Left of Us: A Memoir of Addiction has been optioned for a movie and currently in development. Richie Farrell is one of the top substance abuse and motivational speakers in the United States. More Info @ My Heroin Life.