Why do secrets keep us sick?

Secrets keep us sick in shame and uncertainty. But why should we air them out? And how can we understand our past wrongful actions? We explore here.

minute read

I had a secret and I was never going to tell anybody.

I was going to take this secret to my grave and bury it, just like I had buried it in my subconscious mind for many years – never understanding that it was secrets like this that kept my head bowed, my shoulders slumped and my eyes averted when speaking to others. I never knew that it was secrets like this that made me feel undeserving and unworthy of anything good, and when something good did happen in my life, I waited for the other shoe to drop – because it was too good to be true. Too good for me.

Secrets keep us sick. They keep us in shame and uncertainty.

Secrets lead us to think we are the only ones who have ever had dark thoughts and shameful experiences. They keep us separate and apart from the world, ourselves, our loved ones and even from the possibility of having a spiritual experience or spiritual healing from addiction.

When we carry secrets, we are guarded – unavailable to life because we are so afraid of exposing our shadows. So whether we walk around in the boardrooms of corporate America or perform at Madison Square Garden, we feel like frauds, even in our personal relationships and in our homes. If the mask that we show to the world does slip even for an instant, we are ashamed that we have been exposed for who we appear to be.

Until and unless we are willing to be transparent and honest with someone who can support us in who we really are even in the midst of all our inconsistencies and misguided history, we live a life of hiding and secrets.

How liberating it is to realize we are not our mistakes, nor are we our actions. Our out-of-balanced actions are always manifestations of a distorted view of ourselves and those around us. Those distorted views are a manifestation of a wounded and fearful child, who did the best they could to survive – who acted from a compulsive/obsessive place to simply try and feel good.

It is from that place, we have committed many sins against ourselves and others.

We have not sinned based on the Christian theology of being denied God’s grace, which is impossible in the realm of an immutable all-loving principle.

“The word ‘sin’, metaphysically speaking, is associated with illusion and delusion, which causes us to get out of sync with the harmony of the cosmic symphony. This then gives rise to acts that are out of harmony with the whole and creates dysfunction and suffering.” John Ringland – The Mystic Meaning of Original Sin

Does the fact that we were acting out of a dis-eased state negate the offense? Absolutely not, and we have a sacred opportunity to clean up the wreckage of our actions. Yes, we face the consequences, but now we get to face them fully supported by a loving Universe and a sense of freedom we have never known.

So, in the recovery of our soul, we connect with someone who has an understanding of the emotional and spiritual house-cleaning we are ready to do – someone who understands how we committed certain acts of “sin,” not because we were bad people, but because we were dis-eased people at the level of our emotional make-up.

It wasn’t until I brought the darkness to the light in the presence of another person, that I felt the sunlight of Spirit shining forth its glory through me. This angel listened patiently, lovingly and most of all, without judgment. It was important to my healing to have someone I could share the deepest, darkest parts of myself, and still feel cherished and loved.

Unconditional love and acceptance gives one permission to blossom.

Are you ready to give it up? Are you now in a place where you’re willing to tell your deepest darkest secrets that you swore you would take to the grave? Metaphysically speaking, those words are more accurate than we know. If you insist on holding on to these secrets, they bury, block, smother and hinder the fullness of your life-force from expressing. So in a sense, you’re already in the grave. Step by step, we dig ourselves out and reclaim our divinity.

Don’t wait another day. Tell somebody your secrets.

You are loved more than you know.

I love you,


About the author
Ester Nicholson, renowned vocalist for Bette Midler and Rod Stewart, author, teacher, speaker and former addict uses her own astonishing story as the core of her powerful teaching, book and new Hay House Radio Show: Soul Recovery - 12 Keys to Healing Addiction and 12 Steps for the Rest of Us. Please visit: soulrecovery.org for more information.
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