Wednesday September 17th 2014

Male masturbation addiction – How much is too much?

Masturbation is normal
Masturbation is defined as self-stimulation of the genitals. Touching or rubbing your own genitals to feel good is part of normal human sexual development and can help relieve stress, teach you about your body, provide personal comfort and be pleasurable. Although many cultures still actively discourage masturbation and place moral constraints on sexual behavior, masturbation is a part of normal human experience. Masturbating does not mean that you are promiscuous, oversexed or deviant.

When masturbation becomes a problem
Many people are uncomfortable talking about masturbation at all. The truth is that Whether you masturbate at all, and how often you do, is completely up to you. However, if masturbation is practiced excessively or under inappropriate circumstances, you might have a problem. Furthermore, masturbation may cause guilt and psychological pain from the disapproval of others. These feelings can result in considerable distress and can even affect sexual performance. But when is masturbation unhealthy? Masturbation and the urge to masturbate become unhealthy when masturbation:

  • Continues even though it is no longer pleasurable or gratifying
  • Has legal or personal consequences
  • Interferes with your daily routine, work or social life
  • Is performed excessively
  • Takes up a great deal of time
  • Puts you at risk of physical harm

Am I addicted to masturbation?
Several characteristics are present during sexual addiction, whether sex acts are performed with a parter(s) or alone. If you suspect that you are masturbating too much, you can discuss the situation with a urologist openly, honesty, in confidence. Search the American Urological Association Foundation’s Find a Urologist database.  If there is a real problem, your doctor can either treat it directly or refer you to professionals who specialize in sexual disorders. To self-evaluate your tendency to be addicted to masturbation, answer the following questions.

  1. Are you having trouble establishing and maintaining emotional closeness in a relationship?
  2. Do you experience recurrent and intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, and behaviors?
  3. Do sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors cause you distress?
  4. Do sexual thoughts, feelings or behaviors impair daily functioning?
  5. Do you feel driven to masturbate, whether or not it is a source of pleasure or satisfaction?
  6. Do you use masturbation as an escape from other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress?
  7. Does your preoccupation with masturbation affect your health, job, relationships or other parts of your life?
  8. Do you continue to engage in masturbation despite consequences (relationships, trouble at work, etc.)?
  9. Have you make promises or commitments to stop masturbating that you break?
  10. Do you want to stop masturbating but cannot?

Treatment for masturbation addiction
Treatment for any type of sexually compulsive behavior usually involves seeing a therapist who specialized in sex disorders, visiting an in-patient sex treatment center, going to sex addiction support groups or some combination of the three.  With time, education and support you can lead a normal sexual life again, free from the compulsion to masturbate.

Discussion
Please let me know what you think about this topic here. You can post a comment below or send me an email. Your feedback and experience is welcomed.

 

Reference sources:

http://www.healthychildren.org

Intelihealth website masturbation topic
Merck website sexual health topic

Photo credit: ssoosay

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53 Responses to “Male masturbation addiction – How much is too much?
Lawrence
7:27 pm September 27th, 2010

Great article,

I think I might be addicted.

Effie Sha
7:28 am October 15th, 2010

I don’t usually reply to posts but I will in this case, great info…I will bookmark your site. Keep up the good work!

Alcoholism
10:07 am October 27th, 2010

One of the biggest problems my group has isn’t convincing folks that they have a problem. It’s convincing them to address the biggest one first and then deal with the other stuff. Nobody seems to want to do that. Everyone wants a reason or an excuse. They want to worry about the big bruise on their arm when there leg is cut off and they are bleeding out.

vinayborkar
9:20 pm November 3rd, 2010

i am having the problem of over masterbution problem from last 4yrs some time i have taste my own semen,i can’t concentrate on study, my memory is low,i can’t stop masterbuting, my height is not increasing, my hair is losing it’s density, my skin goes on puffy , low eye ppwer,wrong posture, please please help me oter wise due to this life i will suside , i am male now iam 19yrs old studing at be 1st yr. Please help me how to leave masterbution problem

10:01 pm November 8th, 2010

Vinay – You are not alone! I suggest that you look at the materials from the following 12 step groups. You do not have to feel this way, and there is help! Check out the websites, and check back here!

SAA – Sex Addicts Anonymous sexaa.org
SLAA – Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous slaafws.org
SA – Sexaholic Anonymous sa.org
SCA – Sexual Compulsives Anonymous sca-recovery.org
SRA – Sexual Recovery Anonymous sexualrecovery.org

8:12 pm November 12th, 2010

I am greatly appreciating your works.

But do not encourage or do not let it say that the Masturbation is normal to Human Health.

Please thoroughly & deeply go through the facts I have mentioned herewith.

There are so many Experiments were carried out by Modern Scientists about Changes which will be occurring during the time of ejaculation. If someone practicing to do Masturbation, obviously, it will lead to Addiction. Then the addiction will lead to Brain weakness. I can say it as “Drain of the Brain”. Yes. The brain will be drained away. I have experienced & lost my life now. Now, I am slowly relieving from it.

This is, somewhat, very controversial thing considered by the Scientists against what ancient discoveries made.

It is exactly centre part of the whole body of human.

That is why Genital has been placed in the Centroid Point in the Human Body.

If you have real intention to reveal the secret kept in it since ancient times. I can tell you.

Kindly, do not let them, anyone, to practice Masturbation, else they will lose their lives, mentally, physically & spiritually.

8:16 pm November 12th, 2010

Can you help refer me to the studies that you have seen?

rizwan
3:20 am November 18th, 2010

your site is very great. i love it. i want to stop masturbating but i can not. please tell me more about how i can stop.

1:37 pm November 19th, 2010

Hi Rizwan. I think that it might be helpful for you to talk to a counselor who specializes in addiction. If you can learn more about the brain chemistry of addiction, as well as have an understanding of the emotional and spiritual reasons that you are compulsively masturbating, this can help empower you to abstain. Keep reading around the site. There is more information here, too.

eva
8:59 am January 4th, 2011

I’m not experiencing it but i have a friend who is suffering the same problem and i get pitty on her wife because i know she suffers a lot. but thru this blog site i get an idea on how to point out the real SA person. thanks for the fantastic info as always.

CC
5:04 am January 18th, 2011

My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. We have an unbelievable sex life, but he continues to masturbate on a daily basis. He denies it even though I’ve walked in on him. It really bothered me a lot at first, but then I just turned the other way and dealt with it. It really does bother me, making me feel like I’m just not good enough. I’ve even tried new things with him that I’ve always said I wouldn’t ever try, just to try to satisfy him. I don’t know how to approach him or if I even want to. Maybe I’m just looking into this too much.

Sam
10:17 pm February 13th, 2011

I’m interested in what someone has called ‘brain weakness’, I’ve looked into the effects of excessive masturbation and found evidence for acetylcholine loss leading to memory and concentration problems.

Matt
12:24 am April 18th, 2011

I think it´s best to not become addicted to anything. To what you are addicted doesn´t matter. Any form of addiction can ruin your health, your job, your relationship and your life. So stay clean and don´t waste your time with any kind of abusing something, especially your own body.

planet x
11:23 pm April 19th, 2011

Thanks. That’s a helpful way to gauge masturbation effects.

Want it daily
11:47 pm May 9th, 2011

i cant stap masterbating.I think of things i shouldnt think about to get off. I tell myself no and i keep doing it harder and faster…help…..

kayla
11:05 am June 14th, 2011

cc! im n the same boat what did u decide?

ReelAndUnreal
7:05 am September 3rd, 2011

There is hope for happiness and freedom from struggle!

The best help I can offer is my own testimony about stopping.

Most of my life I struggled with the idea of masturbation and whether or not one should do it. The act itself most often feels very pleasing to the body. It is a powerful sensation of pleasure that is arguably the body’s strongest pleasure response. Then why do people want to stop?

It’s because any strong euphoria of pleasure to the body cause addictive behavior.

Here’s a quote from an alcohol abuse website:
“Addictions no longer refer only to substances, but can be activities, as well. The reason is that these activities create the same chemical reaction in the brain as substances, which give the person feelings of euphoria. The person then craves that substance or activity and participates in the activity or uses the substance to recreate the euphoric feelings.”

We feel unhappy because we are not in control of our life. The desire for pleasure drives us to do the euphoric action and often one will feel the desire to do the activity every time an opportunity to do so arrives.

Understand that regardless of the details of any choice we have in life there are two fundamental paths we can take:
1) Act according to our own desires or wants
2) Act only as it would benefit the greater good (i.e., people we care about, family, friends, the world, humanity, God, etc.)

Therefore, it doesn’t have to be a spiritual revelation (although it is arguably the best way) to understand that by masturbating we actively choose the first path. While this may not cause immediate harm to anyone, every choice we make down one of these two paths strengthens that particular path and weakens the other as a result.

If you truly understand that our decisions shape our character, and our character shapes our world and those we care about, then the decision to stop masturbating or to stop acting in any way that only serves ourselves becomes much easier to make.

I know that by stopping masturbation I will be a better friend, a better brother, a better husband, a better son. You too can minimize the pain you cause in the world by thinking of those you care about first when making any decision in life. You don’t have control over other people, but you can start with yourself. Make a difference by loving humankind more than your own pleasures.

Written very sincerely with hope and faith in you.

Desperate
6:11 am September 22nd, 2011

I have been with my soon to be wife for 4 yrs now, No matter how good our sex life is I cant stop masturbating. I’ll say my job is very private so i do it all day, then when she leaves for work all night, never making myself ejaculate but getting there and stopping.. is this harmful?? I don’t know what to do anymore.. she does not like me doing it as it hurts her because I look at porn at the sametime. I hate hurting her so I lie and say I have not “Got Off” since the last time we had sex but I have gone a jerked off right after we had sex to porn. I don’t know what to do, I want to stop but the urge always hits and I’m back where I started, I’m lucky to get a day of not touching myself at all. Please if anyone can help or make suggestions on how to stop I would love to hear them!!

megaman
7:43 am October 3rd, 2011

I always so to myself if I had to live my life over again I would never masturbate…and anyone if you never masturbated please don’t try it.it will mess you up.nice posts guys.

LostAndNotFound
11:56 am October 5th, 2011

This is the first time I have read any posts like these and it has really opened my eyes. I never thought that other people would understand what I am going through, let alone share their own feelings. I am really glad there are sites like this.

I have felt alone in my addiction to masturbation for a really long time. I find it near impossible to open up and talk about it. Even writing it down seems surreal. Its almost like I have become immune to my emotions because I have this great need to do it that smothers any rational thought that tells me to stop.

Sometimes I can control myself but other times I just feel powerless. My life has centered around this one internal struggle. I don’t even know what triggers it every time but before I know it I am doing it again. And then afterwards I feel the most gutwrenching feeling of shame and guilt. Sometimes I do it more than once to escape those feelings but it only lasts the briefest of periods before reality sets in again. I hate it. I hate myself. I can’t stop. My willpower is constantly tested when I do stop but it seems inevitable. I know its a huge problem (obviously)but I have not known what I should do about it.

Now I have read articles on addictions I understand what the highs and lows of addictions are. You seek the high subconsciously, you get the hit of euphoria and you feel like crap afterwards. And what I said probably seems like the sort of cliche thing you hear at a rehab for meth addicts. But I have tried quite a few drugs and none of them seem to compare to the high I get from masturbation im ashamed to say. And I can’t go to a rehab for that (at least I think so?) I have weighed alot of options and thought I should start here. I WANT OUT of this addiction that has ruined my life. If any one has any ideas of the best place to start please tell me. I need help .

9:05 am October 6th, 2011

Hi LostandFound. Yes, you are right. At the moment, there are not many treatment centers that focus on behavioral addictions such as sex addiction. However, there are self-help groups that meet in person or online. You can Google “SMART Recovery” or “Sex addicts anonymous” and learn more about these self-help programs to get over masturbation addiction. SMART uses cognitive behavioral therapy for ANY kind of addiction and has been very effective for some. Sex addicts anonymous (SAA) uses the 12 step model of spiritual intervention. These are starting places. You might also look into local university settings or social services for more information about behavioral addiction treatment. You are not alone!

Does this help?

uncertain_1
5:30 pm January 7th, 2012

I am a young boy of 13. I only started masturbating 3-4 months ago, and now i fear that I am addicted. My semen is always clear, but im 99% sure that this is not because of a low sperm number, but because im am not quite pubic-ally mature. I masturbate twice a day, everyday, previously masturbating once a day. I realise that i may be too young to get an addiction of any kind, but this blog has opened my eyes alot. My story may seem a little silly, but it would reassure me alot if anyone can explain whether or not it is healthy to do this.
Thank you.

11:17 am January 8th, 2012

Hello uncertain_1. It is normal for a male of your age to masturbate a few times a day. Masturbation and sexual exploration are a normal part of human sexuality. Give it a few years and direct sexual contact with another person and see what happens. If masturbation gets in the way of intimacy with others down the road, or causes negative consequences to your life…then, you might want to explore psychological issues with a counselor at that time. Does this help?

Asura
9:56 pm January 11th, 2012

I did masturbate when I was 11 or 12 years old. I do masturbate now. I`ve been totally destructed. I am 30 years old. what CAN I do about it???

11:19 am January 13th, 2012

Hello Asura. Healthy sexuality is a very personal experience. But there is help if you are unsatisfied with the outcome of your sexual life. Id’ suggest that you contact a psychologist who specializes in sex issues or a sexologist to talk with. It helps to seek guidance from experts when dealing with psycho-emotional-physical issues such as this.

Kumar
4:48 pm February 27th, 2012

HI im KUMAR
WHEN I WAS 15 i started masterbution very soon I realized that im loosing lot of my energy my BRAIN was becoming weaker and weaker plus my body has also become very weak
This UN controllable mind is frustrating me. Im very depressed, the mind has become very dry!! MENTALLY IM
very disturbed don’t know what to do please some one help me!!!!

11:14 am February 28th, 2012

Hello Kumar. You can apply the basic principles of SMART Recovery to help yourself stop masturbating compulsively. Check out their website to learn more about SMART Recovery. Their program is totally free and is based on psychological science. You can download worksheets or even attend an online meeting for free. Please let me know if this helps, or not.

Jordan_1
6:28 am March 8th, 2012

Hey I am a 16 yr old boy who started masturbating at the age of 11.

I don’t want to stop masturbating just cut back to once every other day.

10:57 am March 8th, 2012

Hi Jordan. Your goal seems very reasonable. How often do you masturbate right now? And what are some triggers (time alone, emotional upset, etc.) that compel you to act on your urges?

unhappy
12:13 am March 24th, 2012

i am very unhappy due to my husbands masterbaiting. we hardly have a sex life as he has always masterbaited before i return from work. i am so unhappy and am only hanging on in the hope that i can get him to seek counselling with me. He wont though so it is only a matter of time now before i leave but even this will not change his behaviour. if only partners could see how much this distroys the other person. i have no self confidence i have no sexual confidence i feel ugly and worthless. but i no its not me and i no he loves me soooooo much . he deals with it by blaiming me which helps him to be able to continue without him having to look at himself. Partners out there please do not throw someone away who loves you and is waiting and crying out for you to be with them completely. You may be throwing away the best thing that ever happend to you. please do not be afaid to talk to someone before it is too late.

unhappy
12:36 am March 24th, 2012

we are now in a cycle i talk to him so he is very affectionate and we have lovely conextion once or twice i feel better then we are back to avoidance and blaiming me until i get to being very upset again and talk to him again and the cycle continues. Im now sat in the living room in tears working out how much more i can take ( not much) and he is in the bedroom angry at me for making him feel this way. he does not see or want to see how understanding and hopeful i am. He is soooo loving in every way but avoids me when sex is concerned and prefers sex with himself rather than with me. i do not understand why he materbates just before i get home from work i want to conect with him so much but he would rather have himself.

3:03 am March 29th, 2012

Hello unhappy. I wonder if there is a couples psychologist near you that you might be able to see together?

unhappy
8:02 am April 2nd, 2012

he wont go. this will not chage without help. we did try a psycoisexual couples counsellor however he was not person centred counsellor and my hubby felt that he was being told what to do and now will not go back to anyone. i think he has had this difficulty from childhood. a way to releave stress but it has resulted in him struggling to have emotional contact with the oposite sex. he seems to prefer women on the net also. no emotional contact there either. Thanks though.

8:30 am April 2nd, 2012

I’m so sorry to hear this, unhappy. Perhaps you might try to refer him to an online meeting based program, like SMART Recovery. If he’s willing to change, it’s worth giving it a shot. SMART is self-help which does require personal, emotional and behavioral work. If your husband is not willing to try, then he is probably not ready to give up the masturbation yet.

unhappy
9:11 am April 2nd, 2012

i dont think he is ready he does not see it as a problem he sees it as me trying to control him. even though i mostly cry in private, all he says is all men masterbate and im the one in the wrong. there is materbating which i am sure all or most men / people do partake in or there is masterbaiting at least twice a day and prefering that rather than any emotional contact with your wife/partner. Thanks for your advice but i think im on my own with this one and only one outcome. I just hope some of my hurt, upset may help someone else to think about their relationship and question whether they are ready to lose what they have.

Self-Confident
1:19 pm August 27th, 2012

im the manager of myself and im addicted to masturbation
and i know that its very bad ,, because its excessive
ill put it aside soon . thanx . no help needed .
Not SOON >> Right now !

unknown_1
7:28 pm October 31st, 2012

Hello i am male ,basically most unlucky guy,unfortunately i have addicted with this masturbation at the age of 18,due to this some times i can’t concentrate on my studies and now my age is 22.some times i want to keep this process far from me but some or the other day i will be handovered to it.
Now i can’t stop masturbuting, my size of lingam became small, my hair is losing it’s density, my skin goes on puffy please please help me.
PLEASE SOME BODY HELP FOR THIS PROBLEM

10:51 am November 6th, 2012

Hello unknown. I’d suggest that you see a doctor about your concerns. A medical opinion can help point you in the right direction.

Barry
1:47 am November 14th, 2012

I’m currently going through masturbation addiction and finally have decided to start working towards dealing with it. But it’s not easy because the modern world is very sexualized and very hard to ignore. I notice that most younger girls these days are wearing skimpy tops and tight jeans. Although I try not to obsess over this, it seems to be the norm these days, and after seeing the tenth girl with the noticeable cleavage, I can no longer control my urges. Yes it leads me with the feeling to masturbate. I’m just being honest here, the masturbation seems to be a reaction to what is going on with kids these days! I’m in the process of seeking help but it will still be difficult to stop because I feel that in a way, the situation is being thrusted on me!!

11:41 am November 15th, 2012

Hi Barry. One behavioral intervention that you can put into place is to focus your attention elsewhere. In other words, you will have to stop looking at young women in order to stop the masturbation. The triggers may be present, but it is up to you to choose to engage or avoid them.

More strategies for ways that you can control compulsive behaviors for intimacy can be found in the book, “Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame” by George Collins.

addict
1:41 pm December 2nd, 2012

that am an addict its no question but i want to stop because its against my faith and i think the consequences are just too much even more than the pleasure in it … please help me …

addict
3:41 pm December 2nd, 2012

thanks … you have helped alot …

Barry
11:54 pm December 6th, 2012

Thans for the advice. Over the last few weeks I’ve been making an effort to stop looking at young women but it has been very difficult. My sexual obsession persists. I take a bus home from work and on my way a whole lot of high school and junior high school students board the bus. And as usual all of the young girls are dressed in tight jeans and (sometimes) showing off cleavage, like it was nothing. Although I try to avoid looking, it’s next to impossible, especially on a crowded bus. When I get home the same old situation happens… I am home alone and start obsessing about the young girls, and then the inevitable…. I pull down my pants and start to masturbate. After I finish, I consider consulting a psychiatrist. But by the next day I’m back on the bus and the same old sexual problem starts again.

I

9:24 pm December 8th, 2012

Hi addict and Barry.

The solution is simple: talk to someone with experience dealing with sexual compulsion. Just as with any behavioral compulsion, sexual compulsiveness responds to psychological treatment when you learn what’s going on in your mind and then alter the course of your thoughts. Change you mind, change the outcome.

Jay
8:07 am December 28th, 2012

I NEED A HELP. I CANNOT HELP IT SOMETIMES. I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT BUT I CANT. IT MAKES ME THINNER. I WANT TO CHANGE SOMETHING. I CAN’T . AFTER I DO IT , I BECOME SO REGRETFUL ABOUT WHAT I DID. IT REALLY MAKES ME SICK :/

Bill74
7:28 am February 3rd, 2013

I started jerking off at the age of 9, now I’m 39 and I’m still jerking off, I’ve been to doctors, been to group therepy and still nothing works or helps, but I’m gonna tell you the truth here masturbation is very dangerous you will damage your manhood permanently, there is no drug or treatment that will help cuz the more you jerk off the smaller an smaller your little guy becomes and then you’ll start having days when you jerk off you want to kill yourself because of the loneliness you will suffer……yes you will I should know I tempted suicide 8 time because of this problem. but the best thing for you fellas to do is just stop before you get too old with this problem and spending hundreds to thousands of dollars for some doctor to help you is a waist of time an money, go cold turkey if you can.

Aston
5:44 am March 20th, 2013

Great article. Btw I have similar problem. Sort of. I don’t know exaclty after I read this article. This is my first time I did it 4 times in a week. But, I enjoyed it intstead felt guilty. Just a bit :| . Is this ok? Thanks for the info. :)

x
9:26 am April 11th, 2013

I dont think its addictive if u do it at least once a day because masturbation is so common…many folks dont like to admit it but statistics dont lie at least 90% of people do it on a regular basis…more than 3 times a day and u got a problem….at least 10 years beyond puberty…

addicteddd
2:10 pm April 21st, 2013

Hi, I’m 14 yrs old .. and I always masturbate 4times a week.. for me it feels. Great … my. -question is what is the effect of masturbation in someone who is younger than this?

mr aka
2:03 am April 27th, 2013

i have been a feet stomach hair and leg fetish guy for a few yrs i like looking at ladies dangling and barefeet clips i have all this heated passion when it comes to ladies feet and toes one part of me whats to stop before it is too late while other part of me wants to continue to do what i do for as long as i can overall i want to stop because i have another things i must attend to i will get through this i will pray to God to help me take the negative thoughts out of my head because i think about feet frequently throughout my day i will not let the devil win i dislike the type of person i have become i went from a patient, obedient, and humble gentleman to a selfish, devious, and restless jerk when i do STOP i will say to myself the first few days will appear like a nightmare but it will be worth it because i will not be trapped in the maze or a slave to ladies feet anymore where there is a will there is a way good luck to those who have simlar or worst addictions than me we are in this together may God be with you God Bless

John
9:55 pm May 26th, 2013

Why is there no link for “inpatient sex treatment center”? Do they exist for this problem? They should. For one thing an extended stay in a supportive environment could help a lot with healing physical damage caused by excessive masturbation. For me excessive – meaning enough to cause or sustain pain – starts very low like once a week or even once a month. I feel like I need that sort of environment to quit and feel mature enough to do things that will help me on my own – like making qualitative friends.

Raul Rivera
4:39 pm February 6th, 2014

I have struggled with masturbation since I was a kid. I’m 25 years old and I still cant stop doing it. really want to stop because I go to church and I know that this is not pleasing to god. I’ve even tried taking cold showers but nothing helps any suggestions.

mary
4:45 am February 8th, 2014

My husband has masturbated so much that he can not reach climax or get an erection at all in during sex and I know that he had the same issues in his first marriage. For years he has blamed me for his problems. I tired to address his masturbation and he gets mad and denies everything. I have come home from work and there he is -on my sofa doinf his thing. I have moved out with our daughter and have since then dated and have found out I was definately not the one with the problem. I quess what Im trying to get at is if you value your relationship

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