Do sex addicts hate women?
Heterosexual male attitudes
Although people of any sexual orientation or identity can experience and recover from sexual addiction, we will explore the attitudes of heterosexual males towards women in this brief review. And although compulsive sexual behavior can occur in both men and women, it’s most common in men. But first, it is important to understand the characteristics of sex addiction. Then we can explore the particular triggers that set off male sex addicts to act out risky or abusive sexual behaviors.
Characteristics of sex addiction
The main characteristics of sex addiction are the same as in any addiction. It is important to note here that sex addicts often experience pain and remorse after engaging in sexual behavior…and that acting out sexually may ot may NOT be accompanied by pleasure. The three main characteristics of sex addiction are:
1. Preoccupation or obsession with sex
2. Compulsion
3. Continued behavior despite negative consequences
What drives heterosexual male sex addicts?
Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, a sex addict is driven by self-gratification, a need to escape negative thoughts or emotions (anger, low self-esteem, loneliness, fear). These motivations can translate into a desire for power or control, but are mainly motivated by anger or fear.
Ways men can act out toward women
Sex addicts can act out in ways that go against their underlying values and beliefs. In many ways, a sex addict suffers for these actions and cannot resolve the compulsion to act with a desire to stop. Types of acting out sexual behaviors can include:
- avoidance of emotional connection with sex partners
- exhibitionism
- fixating on a sex partner that you cannot have
- frequent anonymous or casual sex
- frequent sex outside of primary relationships
- having sex without consent (sexual assault)
- having sex with prostitutes
- masochistic or sadistic sex
- multiple affairs
How sex addicts can get treatment
If you suspect that you or a loved one is a sex addict, you can first assess yourself by asking yourself a few questions about sex addiction. Then, you should seek a professional evaluation from a doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist who can help provide a medical diagnosis of a compulsive disorder. Treatment for compulsive sexual behavior exhibited by sex addicts usually includes psychotherapy, medications, self-help groups or a combination of all three.
Reflections
Have you experienced emotional, physical or mental pain from a partner you suspect is a sex addict? What did you do about it? Or have you acted out towards women as a misogynist at some time? How did you resolve issues of sexuality and emotional need? Please share your experiences, feedback and comments below.
12:24 pm
November 11th, 2010
I can honestly say that i was a victim of it before,my husband is a SA. it’s very difficult to handle a problem like this but with the help of people around us we get through it,
6:25 am
November 17th, 2010
I don’t think I’m a sex addict. I just want it a lot more often than my wife does. She was great when we first got married and then over the years she just kept cutting me down. 5 times a week went to 3 then 2 and now I’m lucky if I get laid twice a month. When we were dating it was all the time and I masturbated too. She knew this when she married me then SHE Changed Not me Her!!!! I love her but I can’t take this anymore. I am not a little boy or a puppy that must beg for treats. I am a MAN and I deserve a woman. My dad said, look son you are going to pay for it one way or another and now I’m thinking that the only HONEST WOMEN out there are the ones that charge up front. I try to be faithful to my wife, and now I have to keep secrets from her because she wouldn’t understand. I stay up late “working” and I am checking out the porn sites, Backpage, LosAngelesAdult, Slutload, etc. She just doesn’t understand me and I cant explain it to her.
4:39 pm
December 20th, 2010
Is this kind of problem can be treated? and how long it will takes.
5:34 pm
January 30th, 2011
BS. A sexual addict is just a man a woman doesn’t want to have sex with.
1:11 pm
April 11th, 2011
regarding someones comment here “hookers are the only honest women”,,, this is said by men who are in AA,,, they have alcohol addictions,,, and they love seeing prostitutes. It seems to be another addiction.
A man needs to have addl. interests besides sex. Because his GF or wife does not want to have sex as frequently as he – is no excuse or justification to cheat. the sex addict needs to apprecaite their partner for more than sex and outside physical beauty.
And a man needs to have some moral compass within himself to reign in unacceptable behavior.
6:29 am
June 5th, 2011
Richard, totally get what you’re saying. I got tired of feeling like a puppy/little boy too. Recently left a relationship (with a man), one of our problems was that he didn’t want s*x nearly a third as often as I did. I don’t really believe this sex addiction stuff. It is still controversial even among professionals. Should I say my ex-partner was “well” and I was “ill” because he can happily get away with masturbating once or twice times a month whereas I can’t concentrate as well if I don’t at least 1 time a day? Is that logical? There are real differences in s*x drive, and between men and women’s sex drives also I’m sure. It’s not okay to assault someone, or to commit s*xual crimes, of course. I’m not advocating that, it’s every person’s responsibility to take care of their own needs and respect other’s bodies. I think people who won’t accept their partners using porn*graphy or mast*rbation are ridiculous. It’s a puritan mindset that is itself a pathology.